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  • Dr. A

Truly, Deeply, Undeniably, Exhausted

Ladies, how are you holding up? Seriously, are you as tired as I am?

Holy Shit. I. Am. Tired. And we're only halfway through the holiday season!

Sorry for the language, but at my age, I've earned the right to tell the truth,

and swear now and then.

Bone tired. That’s the only way I can begin to describe how I’m feeling. Granted, I’m coming back from a nasty case of the flu with a healthy helping of strep on top, but it's more than that. It has been a looooong three years of unrelenting stress, followed by the expectations (often followed by disappointment) of "getting back to normal," whatever that is/was.


In the past year, I have had many blessings, but there have been hard times too. It's remembering the blessings and having gratitude that helps us all get through. Yet. . .on the flipside of the coin, there has been the stress of building a business, kids moving out, broken engagements, broken hearts, kids moving home, a car accident, sickness, two pet surgeries, family dysfunction, financial stress, and, . . . you get the picture. I’m not special. Everyone has their stuff to contend with.


Truthfully, like it or not, some things do take more energy as we age. Like getting out of bed, ha ha ha!


I’m beginning to feel my age and make peaceful adjustments on most days. On other days I try to push through and accomplish as much as I did as a 40-year-old. Day after day, that kind of ambition drains my well and vital energy reserves.


I'm here this week to tell you it's ok to be tired. It's ok to make adjustments to your works outs, daily routines, and habits to allow for some more rest. That it's ok to say, "these things" are changing as I get older.


There’s a lot of messaging in the culture-verse about how women should feel during midlife and menopause. Yes, we can recreate ourselves and our lives. Yes, we can eat well, exercise, and enjoy the best health possible. Yes, we can start new projects and relationships. Yes, we can create new self-care routines. Yes, together, it’s possible that we can change the world.


Yes, and. . . this time of life and transformation can be physically and emotionally exhausting.


I’m tired, as I said, bone tired. We all have our own list of things that suck the life out of us. Some have issues that rear their ugly heads from within relationships, marriages, partners, or lack thereof. We may experience work stress, stress from being un-or underemployed, health problems, financial issues, or all of the above at the same time. Midlife can also reveal new, complex, and painful emotional territory that may include a sudden loss of life’s meaning or passion. Some women are contending with empty nest, difficult relationships, divorce, a dead-end career, or feeling lost in a new stage of life where so much is changing. How you cross the seven realms of change during midlife will depend on many things. These include your health, access to health care, including mental health care and support, your finances, your education, where you live, your nutrition and exercise, the quality of your relationships, friendships, and your support system. Navigating all of this can be exhausting. Crossing from one stage of life into another successfully requires inner transformation too. This work requires time, space, and support to encourage reflection, letting go, making plans, digging in, and deep rest when needed. Nature gives us the perfect model for change. She shows us when to plant new seeds, hope for growth, plan for a harvest and take time for rest. If you’re tired too, I encourage you to plan for your season of rest, your fallow time. Mother Nature’s invitation to deep rest is just around the corner. Whatever your plans for the holidays, simple or full and overflowing, enjoy them fully. Embrace the warmth of home and love. Bask in the ancient energies of Hestia that beckon us back to family and friends! Soak up all the love you can; it fertilizes the soul. The fallow season of winter is almost upon us. The earth will rest and so may we. Whatever has exhausted you, the fallow time can be your time of reassessment, of letting go. We can take the time to slowly sink back into our soul's passion as the roots in the fields are gathered back to the earth. We can learn from the past year and decide what goals and dreams we’ll continue to pursue and which ones may need to be released. Then after taking some deep rest, and allowing our wells to refill, we can turn our thoughts to spring and the seeding of our goals and dreams for the new year. I’m looking forward to some deep rest. Namasté, Dr. A. P.S. If you’d like to explore the idea of fallow time and deep rest, join me in the Women’s Wisdom Village on Dec 14th for "Secrets of the Solstice: The moment of unlimited possibility when all things are possible." Click below to register and for more info.


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